For weeks we have been asking Carter what he is going to ask Santa for for Christmas. And for weeks the answer has always been the same … “I don’t know.” Finally two days ago after watching the Dora Christmas Special for the bazillionth time, Carter decided he had to ask for the Pop the Pig toy that is advertised over and over again throughout the special.

      Daddy checked with the efficient elves online to see if there was inventory at Toys-R-Us and according to the site, they had plenty. So I set off a little early to my lunch date so that I could “verify in person” and secure the inventory for Carter for Christmas. I always thought that people over-exaggerated the hell of Toys-R-Us at Christmas time and guess what? They don’t. After fighting my way through a ton of people, trying to find where this thing would be shelved, I finally asked a “little helper” who was taller and older than me about this particular toy. He let me know that they have been flying off the shelf and good luck on finding one.

      Panic now sets in. Carter FINALLY is asking for something for Christmas. What if there aren’t any available? Will this scar him for life? Will he never ask Santa for anything ever again? I called Jeremy and explained the situation and he promptly got online to see if there were any available elsewhere. He called me back about ten minutes later to inform me we could buy one online for $60 with no guarantee that it would show by Christmas. Or we could spend $100 and it will definitely arrive. We are talking about a $25 toy here.

      So Jeremy and I started strategizing … I think that Santa should write a letter to Carter:

      Dear Carter,
      You were a very good boy this year, but your request came in a little late and the elves that were responsible for this particular toy got behind in their production schedule and inventory ran out. This means we weren’t able to give all the boys and girls who asked for this toy one right at Christmas. Thankfully the elves continue to work tirelessly and will ship you one after Christmas. In the meantime, the manager of these elves is being fired for poor projections for this toy.

      Okay, so that would work if we had to make it work, but man, that Santa sure sucks if that is the cop out he has to use.

      As a last ditch effort, I decided to stop by Target and Fred Meyer on my way home and HALLELUJAH they had Pop the Pig in stock. Now my kid can’t complain when he is in therapy in his thirties about Santa not projecting enough toys to include him.


      Boy am i EVER glad you didn’t send that letter. I can’t even begin to think of the therapy he would need if Santa fired an elf. My gosh where would that elf ever find another job? How would he feed his family and 12 tiny dependent elves? You would have been in a pickle when he sent Jeremy to the North Pole to find that abused elf and bring him into your loving family and share a toy box with giraffe.

      Mark was scarred for life because Santa wouldn’t get him a motorcycle because he might crash his eye out.